July 23, 2005

D-Day - 19

song in the background: 100 days

Today marks the 1st day of my long journey home...just shifted to Kuya Raffy's today...things I accomplished:

1. pack up all my clothes (check)
2. met with Mia who helped me pack up (check)
3. moved to Kuya Raffy's (check)
4. had an overwhelming feeling of what's ahead of me...ending in tears (double check)

God, this is so hard. It's so easy to sink into depression and self pity. But I've tried that and look where it go tme? I wanna try this thing that Ive "believed" in but never really "lived" up to. I wanna be known as a man who's faith is as big as his God.

No more self pity.

No more withdrawal syndrome.

No more hiding.

If God can restore anything, he can definitely restore me. Here's a verse given by my dearest best friend:

Habakkuk 3:17-20

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

So as the curtain call approaches in this chapter of my lfe, I have all the right to worry about what's ahead...But that's what faith is for...

to be able to face the facts but focus on the promises...

...to be realistic but not suicidal...

...to be optimistic but not naive...

...to hope that inspires action and total trust in my one true God.

Dont get me wrong..everything inside of me wants to scream and die right now. But im through relying on just myself.

Now I'm really running after him...to the path of redempetion...

and to know what it really means...to be redeemed.

July 11, 2005

A Bad Day

Here's a poem I learned long time ago... when I was in Elementary school, grade 5...

A BAD DAY
by: (someone I cant remember)

I overslept and missed my train
Slipped on the sidewalk in the pouring rain
Sprained my ankles, skinned my knees
Broke my glasses, lost my keys

Got stuck in the elevator it wouldn't go
Kicked it twice and stubbed my toe
Bought a pen that didn't write
Took it back and had a fight.

Went home angry locked the door
Crawled into bed couldn't take anymore.

That's a really sad sad day... I've had that once... really close to it...

These days I find myself in situations like such... it's gonna be a long litany if I put it in a poem... And like always, I find myself standing at a junction...taking either of the two paths... what do I do is always my decision... that's were life starts to get really annoying...

Bad days are here... what shall we do???


July 07, 2005

the gathering storm

like there was fire in the sky...

I took this photo at the overhead bridge in Holland Village... its a shame my phone cam is very lousy...but yeah, you get the "picture". I saw it and it was amazing...seldom see the skies like that here in Singapore. Anyways, I was awed so I took ou my phone and took a snap of it... which by the way caused me to miss my bus home...harhar so I had to wait for another 20min for the next one.

Well...as my title suggests...I feel like a storm is gathering...looming just behind me...waiting to creep up... we'll see how it goes...

archie out.